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I solemnly swear I am up to no good Aug. 5th, 2005 @ 02:43 am
Dear Potter,

While taking out the rubbish from my daughter's room in the early hours of the morning, the smell of love potion was lightly wafting through her room window. After disposing of the horrid smell, I found a rounded bottle in the frontyard hedges while getting ready to commence my daily gardening. How dare you use such a strong love potion on her, you four-eyed toad! And bring her back home immediately on that wretched broomstick of yours!

She will be punished, she WILL be punished, OHHH she certainly will be! You mark my words, Potter! Oh gosh - I'm having a heart attack - oh - all's..good, yes. Moving right along! And to think I did not believe the fact that she was brewing Polyjuice Potion the other night with a clump of long, red hair strands sticking out of her cloak pocket as she walked her gigantic self down that driveway!

Spitefully yours,

Professor Slughorn

P.S: I shall have your head on a silver platter.
Current Mood: nauseatedPOTTER!

Used in Newcastle Aug. 4th, 2005 @ 11:29 am
Dear Sirius,

Ever since I got my letter from Hogwarts, my brothers keep insisting that I "help them out" with their chores. I've tried telling them that I'm not allowed to use magic outside of school yet, but they insist that that's just a story I'm making up to avoid helping them.

I'm at my wit's end. What can I do to convince them?

Robin McKay
Current Mood: moroseUsed
Current Music: "Spin the Black Circle" - Pearl Jam

I Solemnly Swear I Am Up To No Good Aug. 4th, 2005 @ 07:28 pm
Dear Remus,

I have happened upon a little problem. I like to pride myself on having a wide range regarding my vocabularly. However, I seem to have become stuck on using the same retort to most questions/comments/criticisms from others.

Dear Remus -- I can't stop saying the word 'poo'!

I am the ridicule of my friends, the bane of my teachers and the loathing of my decorous parents!

Alas, what has become of me? My intelligence has turned into poo. Oh damn it all. Everything is so poo.

Poo. Poo. Poo.

Please help me,

Anon. Poo.
Current Mood: chipperchipper
Current Music: Drown This Love, HIM

I solemnly swear I am up to no good Aug. 4th, 2005 @ 02:15 pm
Dear Severus,

I was up in your dormitory the other day, and to my horror and confusion, found a stuffed bear on your bed. Don't get me wrong, the bear was adorable. White and fluffy. Black and green bows on its ears. But the thing that concerns me is...the nametag says "Sevvie-wevvie"

Would you care to explain...? Please?


(Come on guys, writing letters can't be THAT hard...don't be shy, now!)

I solemnly Swear I am up to no good - I can't get that night of my mind! Aug. 2nd, 2005 @ 09:53 pm
Dear Sirius,

I am so glad you decided to start this column. I have this terrible problem and I don't know what to do!

Last week, my boyfriend and I decided to play with polyjuice potion. I thought it would be fun to take a tumble with Severus. So I picked up a piece of his hair from his robes. I know, he is a greasy git, but YOU HAVE SEEN HIM IN HIS PANTS!! I just had to see if he "measured up" to my imagination. Well he did, hence my problem.

Now I can't get that Greasy git off of my mind. He is all I think about. I have asked my boyfriend to take the Polyjuice again, but he won't! Not until I drink it and become Lily. What should I do?

Oh and Mischief was managed!!!

Severus' Secret Lover
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